It All Falls Down
by porii
Summary: Depressed, angry and hurt, Shizune and Misha try to seek solace in unexpected places. [post-Shizune bad ending]
1. Chapter 1

Shizune couldn't sleep.

She lay there on her narrow bed, her dark eyes scanning the ceiling tiles. She should have been able to drop off right away, given she hadn't slept at all last night.

She'd ran everything through her head, as if to memorise lines for a play. _I'm going to meet Hisao, we're going to go for a walk, I'll calm my nerves, we'll find somewhere secluded ... and that's it. I'm going to end this quickly, and painlessly. This can't continue._

Except this morning wasn't as painless as she expected. She'd expected Hisao - no, she _wanted_ Hisao to protest, to say that she hadn't messed him about, that Misha would come around eventually. She'd wanted him to hug her, say everything was going to be alright, feel his breath on her neck and -

But he didn't. He'd just said something - something she couldn't lipread - and walked away. He'd looked back once she'd sat on the step, and Shizune felt a pang of dull pain when she noticed a flicker of a humourless smile on his lips before he'd turned around and disappeared. Not even an ounce of regret.

She didn't cry then, but it was hard as hell not to.

Shizune didn't cry when her father left her at Yamaku without a second glance. She didn't cry whenever she and Lilly had arguments. She couldn't even remember crying when she missed her mother, or felt a little too alone at home in Saitama. No, her father had always had as much deaf awareness as a flea, and Shizune didn't expect he or Hideaki would learn anytime soon - but she didn't ever cry over it, not that she could remember. She'd just felt this huge emptiness, similar to how she was feeling now.

It was no good. She wasn't going to sleep. It felt like she wouldn't for a long time.

Pushing herself up off the bed and striding into the dorm corridors, Shizune went in search for fresh air. A fresh perspective wouldn't hurt, either.

* * *

Misha listlessly wandered inside the Student Council room. She was thankful for the lack of Shizune as she closed and locked the door behind her. The room still faintly smelled of the council president; a strange mix of writing ink, deodorant, and whatever she used in her hair, so she couldn't have been gone for long. Misha ran her hands over the top of the filing cabinet, and sank down into the nearby chair despondently.

There was no way to put this right. Not now. Too much had happened, and thanks to their last argument ... Shizune had been made all too aware of the betrayal. Misha's eyes swam with tears as she remembered her ex-best friend's devastated expression. Hunched over the desk, Shizune's upper body was only propped up by her shaking arms as her chest heaved. The harsh sunset light had thrown each vehement sign into sharp relief.

_[Why, Misha? How the hell could you have done this to me? I thought I was your best friend!]_

Misha had looked back down at her feet. _[I dunno. Didn't think.]_

A few uncomfortable moments had passed. The only sounds were Shizune's heavy breathing, and Misha kicking at the loose carpet. The pink-haired girl focussed steadily on her shoelaces, feeling the tension swell.

She was taken aback by Shizune striding around the huge president's desk, and grabbing hold of her shoulder, pulling her closer. It hadn't been in the way Misha had fantasised about for a year, but regardless she still felt a jolt in her lower stomach.

Forcing herself to look into the eyes of her now ex-best friend, the person who had once meant the entire world to her, Misha braced herself. Even though the signs were one-handed, she could understand them - and Shizune's agony - perfectly.

_[You've hurt me. You've hurt me in the worst possible way.]_

Emotion bubbling up inside her, Misha wriggled out of Shizune's grip. _[And what about you? You hurt me! You completely ignored how I felt for you! I was so confused and hurt anyway but when you went swanning off with Hisao I didn't know what to do anymore!]_

Shizune's eyes widened in disbelief. _[So you thought that seducing my boyfriend was going to be the answer? Instead of talking to me?]_

_[No! I didn't want an answer, I didn't want you to tell me I was just being silly, I wanted comfort! I wanted to feel truly, really wanted! Whenever I spent time with you, you never made me feel that way, ever! If I'd have told you how I still felt, would you have listened?!]_

_[Yes. What are you talking about?! Yes, I would have listened to you! I did want you around, you were my best friend, weren't you?!]_

_[You didn't listen last time! No matter what, you kept running after me, even though I was hurting!]_

Shizune let out an involuntary shriek of frustration and threw her hand down on the large desk next to them, making the pen pot topple over and the legs rattle loudly. _[Yes, because that's what friends do! They stick by each other!]_

_[You don't know anything about being a friend! Nothing at all! No wonder Lilly doesn't want anything to do with you! No wonder every friend you make ends up hating you!]_

For a moment, Shizune was frozen, like Misha had stabbed her. Misha saw her friend's eyes fill up with angry, hurt tears. Knowing that she'd already gone too far, she continued regardless.

_[But when he ... did things to me ... I thought of you. Never once did I stop thinking of you.]_

A blur of white, and a rush of air. Misha's back knocked against the corner of the desk with a loud thump, only registering that Shizune had hit her when the door was wrenched open. It could have been Misha's imagination, but she could have sworn that she had heard a sob as the door slammed. The end of a friendship. The end of an era.

Back in the present day, Misha cast her eyes to the desk drawers, the reason why she'd come here in the first place. Pulling the middle one open, she retrieved a Mamegoma-patterned notebook, her supply of chewing gum, and her pencil case. The notebook's cover was littered with games of noughts-and-crossed and Hangman, each one more and more haphazard as both girls got competitive. Misha shoved it in the very bottom of her schoolbag, and left the room.

It would be her last visit.

* * *

Shizune wasn't quite sure where she was going. She'd just needed air and a change of scenery, although that had been her reasoning for skipping out on afternoon lessons to stare at her bedroom ceiling. Obviously it hadn't worked that time, but maybe if she kept trying ...

She turned a corner, and found herself in a familiar corridor. Her eyes fell on a door to her right, which was slightly ajar. It had quite a friendly look, as though it would welcome any weary traveller, possibly one lost on the way to the Library.

_Should I? _Shizune thought, pursing her lips.

She hadn't made up her mind properly before she'd laid a hand on the chipped wood, and pushed the door open. Indeed, the person she'd been vaguely thinking about was sitting at the desk, and had turned at the noise.

"Who's there?"


	2. Chapter 2

The council president stood there as if she was about to go into battle. Lilly inclined her head, closing her eyes. That silence could only be one person. "Ah. Shizune."

Shizune recognised the lip-pattern of her name and nodded, before remembering who she was in front of, and followed it up with (what she hoped was) an offhand snort.

Lilly shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She'd eventually expected this to happen, and when Hanako had hesitantly mentioned to her this afternoon that Shizune, Misha and Hisao had all had a "some sort of a fight", she wasn't surprised at all. That being said, she hadn't expected Shizune to visit her of all people, let alone so soon.

"Would you like to take a seat?" Lilly extended a hand across the table. Shizune moved uneasily to the chair directly opposite Lilly, moving an empty cup and a plate out of the way, and extended her fingers towards Lilly's hand, where they tapped on the blind girl's fingers rhythmically. It was a long and laborious process, as Shizune hadn't done this in a while, but eventually she got the message out.

_Hisao and Misha left me._

Lilly nodded stiffly, and Shizune took it as a cue to continue.

_So just me now. Need help with Council things._

Lilly sighed deeply. Of course Shizune would pretend that it didn't faze her, she always did. Later on, she'd probably blame them for any failings, too. _Is that all you're here for?_

Shizune clicked her tongue moodily._ Yes._

A dark-haired distraction entered the room, and let out a fearful squeak.

Shizune saw her out of the corner of her eye and jumped; not expecting another visitor, but then again wherever there was Lilly, Hanako couldn't be far behind. She withdrew her hand quickly, and Hanako's dark eyes flickered from their connected hands to Shizune's chin, not quite mustering up the courage to meet her eyes.

Meanwhile, Lilly had heard Hanako arrive. "Oh good, Hanako, you're back. Don't worry - Miss Hakamichi won't be staying long, I'm sure."

Hanako noticed the irritation in Lilly's voice, and chose to busy herself with the kettle, her face flushed red. As much as Shizune didn't look like she was spoiling for a fight, the prospect of tea with her was still not an attractive one. Hanako pictured Shizune with one of Lilly's best china cups, glaring silently and haughtily over the rim of it, and her hands shook with anxiety.

Lilly turned back to Shizune, and as Lilly had done before her, Shizune extended her hands. Lilly sighed to herself, thinking she must be crazy, but tapped out the short message regardless: _When would you like the help?_

* * *

Later that evening, before retiring for the night, Hanako traced the edge of her door nervously. "A-are you really ... going to ...?"

"Yes," her best friend muttered. "I might come to regret it, but I have agreed to help Shizune file the council paperwork for the last few weeks of term."

"B-but ... you left because of-"

"I know. However, it is only for a fortnight or so, and I assure it won't cut into our time together." Lilly smiled warmly, to try and put Hanako (and herself) at ease.

Hanako scratched at some of the flaking paint, working out how to phrase the next question.

"W-why do you think Hisao and Misha l-left her?"

Lilly leaned back against the wall, before answering slowly and carefully.

"I don't presume to know exactly, but what I am aware of is that Miss Hakamichi has almost always had a hard time keeping friends. I daresay that she never really learned how to make them properly, with a fathe-"

She cut herself off, her nostrils flaring, and started again.

"When I really think about it, despite all of our disagreements over the past two years I have nothing but pity for Miss Hakamichi. I do not like her, but she is still family and I feel sorry that she is the way she is. A lot of this she has brought on herself, but I do believe she just doesn't know any better. I could tell when she visited today that the break-up has shaken her quite considerably, even if she may not want to show it."

"W-would you like help? With the S-student C-council stuff, I mean?"

The offer was out of Hanako's mouth before she could stop herself. Horrified, she shrank back into the doorway, worried of the response. Lilly, however, just smiled.

"It's okay, Hanako. I should be able to handle the beast by myself."

Hanako let out a small audible laugh, bid Lilly goodnight, and hurried into the comforting darkness of her room.

* * *

Misha, on the other hand, had found herself outside, in the glowing sunset. Going to town didn't seem like an option; the mere thought of the Shanghai dredged up many memories of the Student Council. Of course, as Shizune had been such a large part of her life for the past couple of years, almost everything was reminding her of her ex-friend, and what one stupid moment had cost her.

Misha rubbed her chest, trying to soothe the ache.

She wandered down the hill towards the running track, and sat in one of the stands near the back. The track was empty aside from one girl, her pigtails streaming behind her as she dashed around the circuit as fast as she could. Her prosthetic legs caught the sunlight, and gave the impression that they were twinkling. Misha chuckled as she imagined Ibarazaki one day running so fast that she'd set the ground alight.

The noise carried over to Emi, who slowed down to a halt and gazed up at the stands, her hand shielding her eyes. There was no mistaking the pink hair.

Usually, not even a marching band parade could distract Emi from her run, but she too had heard of the 'break up' between the golden trio. Unlike Lilly, on the other hand, she had been shocked by the news. There had never been just Shizune, or Misha, it was almost like one of Yamaku's unwritten rules.

She stepped off the track and walked up to the stands, fetching her bag along the way. Misha wasn't shying away, on the contrary she was staring back.

"Hi, Misha. It's rare to see you, uh, here." Emi said, catching her breath.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Misha said breezily, "I only came out for some fresh air."

"Not at all," Emi said, and flopped down onto the seat in front of Misha, retrieving her sports bottle from her bag. "It's never too late to start running, either!" She punctuated the comment with a wink and took a huge gulp of water.

Misha laughed. The sound was oddly artificial - _or perhaps that's the way it's always been_, Emi mused to herself.

"So I heard about you and Shizune falling out."

Misha flinched. Emi had always been forward, but Misha didn't expect her to change tack so quickly, or for the statement to be so blunt. Perhaps she'd been taking lessons from Tezuka. "Um ... yeah, things hadn't been right for a whi- I mean ..."

Emi shook her head and took another sip of water. "I'm sorry, it shouldn't have come out like that. It's just ... that's tough. It's always been you-and-Hakamichi, hasn't it?"

Misha looked down. "Y-yeah."

Emi was quiet for a moment, feeling a twinge of pity. She - and most of the school, for that matter - had guessed that there was something going on between Misha and Shizune. Misha's downcast attitude was now proof enough of that. There was also no other reason why Misha would have willingly stuck around with someone who was so hard to befriend, and Shizune had most likely considered Misha her only friend ... until Hisao, that is.

"Are you and Hisao still friends?"

Bad question. Misha didn't answer, but Emi could feel that she was getting into dangerous territory, and uneasily changed tack.

"Well, I know we've nearly graduated, but if you want to come down to help out with the club or even run for a bit or anything ..." Emi offered lamely, swinging her bag from her hand.

Misha got to her feet mechanically. "Sorry ... I have to go to the dorms, got to go do something or other ... I'll catch you later, Ibarazaki." She paused and smiled wryly. "Or not, judging by how fast you run."

Emi smiled, more out of politeness than anything, and watched as Misha set off back up the hill, and back towards the dormitories. _Who'd have thought I'd have been so bothered by this?_


End file.
